Monday Musings || by JK No.0028
– I was so excited – by the exciting travel deal – that appeared in my inbox – moments ago – until – the dreaded – “based on double occupancy” – at the bottom of the offer – slapped me in the face – it’s not like it hasn’t slapped me in the face before – the implied abnormality – as with taxes and tax breaks – or family discounts – or restaurant seating – you terrible single person you – last week – I decided I deserved a restaurant steak and took myself to dinner – the first seat I was given – which I refused – was at a small table – squished near the corner of the bar – so offended – I demanded a table in the middle of the damn dining room and there I sat – having suffered – this cruelty of mainstream – of couples – and marriages – and Siamese-BFF’s – companions – shoulders to cry on – of two-sies – of which I find nothing wrong – in themselves – but the expected normalcy of traveling in pairs – or in a pack – has affected me so foully and frequently – that I can not help but possess some resentment towards – the duo – resentment of the sort – that one resents having – which just makes matters worse – resenting yourself for resenting something – and all because you’re left out – shut out – penalized for being alone – it’s friggin’ High School – I shall never forget my anger – with a hotel restaurant in Edinburgh – just a few years ago – that offered breakfast at a two-for-one price – so it was my thinking that – I should be able to pay for my breakfasts today – eat one – and then come back tomorrow for the second breakfast – since serving me two breakfasts at once would be such a waste – the hotel did not see things the same way – and while my reasoning was respected – there was no second breakfast for John – lovers – families – business associates – duos duetting – got the second breakfast free – a special rate if you have a special person with you – and I ate elsewhere – some day I would love to go on an Alaska cruise – but cruises present problems too – you can always find a cruise ship cabin with two beds – but why – why – why are there no singles? – I love to travel alone – I haven’t lived with another person since I was in college – I honestly don’t think I could take a crap with another human being in the same apartment – let alone hotel room – let alone tiny cruise ship cabin – sure – I can go alone on the cruise – but only if – I pay what the two of you pay – you ruining it for me pair you – forcing me to pay twice the amount – when it impossible for me to have twice the experience – or more clearly – experiences equal to that of two people – unless maybe you flunitrazepam your friend for the entire trip – singles get shuffled around airplanes too – I know you purchased that seat Mister Kamys – but we have a family that needed to sit together so – so where are the childless flights? – I purchased that seat – because I wanted that seat – I wanted to go to China – and today the deal popped up – I could go for ten days for $900 bucks – flying from San Francisco – but naw – I can’t do it alone – alone I pay $1,800 bucks – like a ha ha ha you are so single penalty – it’s just not fair – and I resent that – as much as I resent and resent resenting the happy twosomes who have surely snatched this limited deal up – and to those mainliners – probably hugging – and kissing – and fornicating right now to celebrate the great deal they got – I say – f&@k you have a nice trip –
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